X-Cross (review)

X-Cross
Kenta Fukasaku
2007, Japan

From Kenta Fukasaku the director of the very disappointing sequel "Battle Royale II," and son of the legendary filmmaker Kinji Fukasaku comes X- Cross a Japanese Sci-fi / Slasher movie that doesn't make any sense. Unfortunately “like father like son” does not seem to apply in the case of the Fukasaku family. X Cross is seriously overrated, borrowing from the now over used Roshomon structure of story telling and even worse, it uses mobile phones to help rocket the story.

Scripted by Tetsuya Ôishi, fresh off penning both DEATH NOTE films, the plot centers on two Japanese girls who visit a remote village for a girl’s getaway. Shiyori (Nao Matsushita) is coming fresh off her break up with her long term boyfriend, while her friend Aiko (Ami Suzuki) is a taking a much deserved time off from her four boyfriends. Unlike normal woman they vacation out in the middle of nowhere seeking out the local hot springs and they of course stumble upon a cult of men who ritually amputate women's legs. The relaxing getaway quickly turns to terror when realizing the entire village is obsessed with inbred leg fetishists.

X-Cross has it’s share of interesting and colorful characters including psychopathic witches, a female version of both Leatherface and one of Edward Scissorhands, an Igor like henchmen and Asian redneck cultists. At time the action is fast and furious and I will admit that it has one of the most intense fight sequences I’ve seen all year long involving a giant size pair of scissor and a chainsaw. It’s a film that implores you to just sit back and enjoy the ride. It’s ridiculous, crazy and although not for me, fans of extreme Japanese cult films will find themselves for the most part entertained. If you can get past the huge plot holes, tired gimmicks and horrible cinematography you may find yourself enjoying this film.

Daniel Moscovitz

Listen to episode 58 for a more in depth review!

The Burrowers (review)

The Burrowers
Directed by J.T. Petty

With the American Western turned sufficiently on its head over the last few years, thanks to new interpretations that have upped the quotient of brutality (The Proposition, the Western-in-Coens-clothing No Country for Old Men), beauty (The Assassination of Jesse James) or both (Deadwood). As it seems it must, two trends have now collided, with the newly rejuvenated Western butting heads with the newly resurgent creature feature in J.T. Petty's initially promising but ultimately negligible fourth feature The Burrowers. Something like Tremors meets Dances With Wolves, but without ever establishing an appropriate tone either of camp enjoyment or grave foreboding.

Karl Geary (Petty's Mimic 3: Sentinel) and Sean Patrick Thomas (Save the Last Dance) star as, respectively, an Irish immigrant and a Freeman in Dakota in 1876, who end up in an obviously doomed search party led by a wicked mustachioed man of indeterminate origin (we know he's wicked not only because of the mustache, but because he constantly berates all the non-white characters). The party in question is doomed because people keep disappearing, only to be found later mostly covered in dirt - still technically alive, but completely unresponsive otherwise. The aforementioned evil mustache (Doug Hutchison) is convinced it's the work of malevolent Indians and vows to hunt them down - but the local Ute population knows otherwise and are eager to see the arrogant white men consumed by the mysterious beasts that creep the surrounding grasslands.

Despite a potentially juicy premise, The Burrowers is laughably incoherent and falls apart completely after a promising first 20 minutes. Petty, who also wrote the film, directs as though we should be taking the dangers at hand seriously, but is thoroughly unconvincing in conveying period language and detail. His idea of "period" dialogue is to insert "I reckon" or "I gather" into a conversation a few times. Thomas' Callahan (who is meant to be from Georgia, but doesn't even attempt an accent) is made to insist, embarrassingly, that "everything's cool" in one scene. There's a mildly amusing exchange between Thomas and Geary on the subject of their shared otherness, but it feels too convenient to be genuine. Noble Indian tropes are prominent. Perhaps most cripplingly, the creatures themselves (subterranean sluglike wraiths) are comically phallic and become increasingly laughable as the film progresses - when we discover that a good kick can keep the crawlers at bay, it makes their earlier conquests seem unlikely. The two most unique aspects of the film's concept - the eerie manner in which "survivors" appear in the ground, and the use of a period setting - are undone by its poor stagings (not to mention often-stodgy CGI) and wildly inconsistent tonal work. It could have worked as high camp, but Petty's self-serious tone digs a hole it can't escape

Pighunt (review)

Pighunt

Directed by James Isaac

From the demented mind of director James Isaac (Jason X) comes a survivalist horror / action film complete with hardcore violence, hippies, unnecessary nudity, racism, rednecks and a giant 3000 pound pig named Ripper.

The film follows John (Travis Aaron Wade), his girlfriend Brooks (Tina Huang), and his friends who voyage out to his uncle’s remote cabin in the woods for a weekend getaway of sex, drinking and hunting. Only things go wrong when some past acquaintances bearing old grudges cross paths with the group causing a quarrel to break out. Rubbing shoulders the wrong way the group of friends soon find themselves on the run and now “the hunted”, as the local redneck hillbillies drive out with murderous intentions. Led by the Tibb’s brothers along side Preacher (Les Claypool of Primus), the group chases John and company deep into the forest causing both parties to cross paths with the forest’s Gypsy inhabitants; a nudist cult of porn star like amazons who of course worship who else but Ripper. And what do they feed the pig? Do you really need to ask?

It’s an exploitation film that’s unapologetic and once the first kill takes place, it goes for the extreme and never looks back. Reminiscent of films like Grizzly, Deliverance and even The Condemned, screenwriter Robert Mailer Anderson throws every sub genre into the fire so your never really know sure where it’s heading.

It’s difficult to review this film seriously because it’s has ridiculous as the directors former film Jason X. Definitely not everyone’s cup of tea but what saves the film is that it is never taken seriously. Issac’s only intention and care is to have as good of a time has he can on set and hopefully deliver the same feeling to its audience. Tired of working within the Hollywood system, he takes every opportunity here to do everything and anything he normally can’t do and breaks every rule.

Gore hounds and fans of old grindhouse pictures will love its gratuitous violence and supercharged action. Don’t expect a clever story, good acting or even a great score. This film gets its legs from the naked vixens and well, the wild boar.

Alex Ross